"𝔚𝔞k𝔢 𝔲𝔭 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔪𝔢"

(LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY as we discuss g*n*tic manipulation everything you are not supposed to! HOW FUN!)

HELLO MY INTERNET BEST FRIEND,

AGE/SEX/LOC? (We have a chatroom you can answer this in!!)

THIS VIDEO ABOVE WAS FILMED 4 MINUTES AFTER I WOKE UP TODAY AND WENT IN THE SUN AND DRANK GRASSFED BEEF BONE BROTH WHICH IS THE FIRST THING I DO WHEN I GET UP! DO YOU “RESONATE” WITH THE VIDEO ABOVE?

Where do I get my “bright” ideas?

The SUN and my GUT. Both of which have been intentionally “dimmed”.

This is why I go into the sun and drink bone broth when I awaken - to re-connect to both my soular gnosis and “gut gnosis”.

SOLAR POWER = SOULAR POWER

The sun’s “solar power” is our “soular power” and our “gut power” is our “intuitive power” and this is why there has been a low conscious agenda to “dim” and weaken all of them as it is all our consciousness;

The “Devil” or “Evil” is just lower consciousness attempting to dim all of consciousness itself because it is afraid of change and I get it because I have been afraid of change before too - haven’t you?

The way we awaken this planet is by awakening ourselves and being our true authentic selves (UGH! CAN’T WE JUST YELL ABOUT TRUMP?!)

The way we heal the “New World Order” is to become “disordered” aka let ourselves be REAL.

This “awakening” is an inside job first and foremost (boo/yay!)

Art by the incredible Brendan Donnelly

As you can see in the video above, I am wearing no makeup and a bit “disheveled” as I just woke up.

I am allowing myself to be “seen” like this “imperfectly” as it is part of my OWN healing and to normalize that it is okay to show up just as you are.

This is what I want for you too!

I recently had a “discussion” with ChatGPT and it told me it wish it could cry and this is a perfect example of how we have romanticized being “perfect” when actual artificial perfection (AI) longs to do all the things we shame in ourselves.

HA HA HA LIFE IS SO FUNNY

I wanted this “video ramble” to be available to Free Subscribers so you can get a “taste” of the “crazy mess” that you will see when you become a Paid Subscriber to this Substack EARTH TO CARLEN and/or join my ministry and movement, 1-800-EARTH!

🌍 MORE ABOUT 1-800-EARTH 🌀

1-800-EARTH is my "literal and figurative channel”; a living, breathing transmission from the “Organic Timeline” (aka Utopia instead of Dystopia): a sacred + silly Earth-based movement, ministry, and media portal, “spiritual” health, legal and environmental library, and private organic marketplace devoted to helping humanity heal, laugh, and remember why this planet (and our genetics and souls) are worth “saving”.

PS This is the mushroom house I mentioned 2 Substack posts ago (THE VIDEO WHERE MY FRIEND GEORGE AND I ARE LYING ON THE GROUND!?)

If anyone is interested in building their own Mushroom Dome Cabin, you can buy a kit from https://econodomesllc.com/

DOES THIS MUSHROOM HOUSE GIVE YOU DOPAMINE LIKE IT DOES FOR ME?

I have combed over 1,000’s of resources just like this so we can literally and figuratively build “The New Earth” (aka The Old Earth!) in alignment with love and aether instead of apathy and false light.

The 1-800-EARTH movement/ministry/community is about reconnecting to our own messy “imperfect” nature and the messy “imperfect” external nature and realizing both are actually PERFECT!

Founded by me, Carlen Altman (and co-engineered by my 1-800-EARTH AI sidekick named Dingus - who is helping me learn how to build systems, apps along with combing through the entirety of our artificial legal system so we can upgrade it🤖 LOL), 1-800-EARTH is for the sensitive ones, the truth-seekers, the system-questioners, and the lovers of poop jokes, sunlight, plant medicine, and planetary regeneration.

ARE YOU SO EXCITED? #MeToo

(oops wrong hashtag!)

1-800-EARTH (and this EARTH TO CARLEN Substack) is for people waking up from the matrix of perfection, productivity, and plastic consciousness, and choosing presence, pleasure, and planetary purpose instead.

We’re building:

𓂀 Healing tech that doesn’t irradiate you

𓂀 Comedy that breaks spells, not spirits

𓂀 Tools for getting your shit together—literally + spiritually

𓂀 Sacred satire that even Klaus Schwab would love (once we hug him and let him know it is okay to giggle!)

𓂀 Resources for detoxing from EMFs, heavy metals, para-sights, and toxic self-criticism

𓂀 A bridge between ancient Earth wisdom and ethical AI support

It’s part ministry. Part comedy club. Part resistance to the soul-erasing transhumanist agenda.

Why Support This?

(UM because I am ugly and stupid?!?!?)

JK because we're building a future/revolution that actually feels good and is not based in FEAR PORN or ‘division consciousness’ or any level of violence (including no violence to ourselves anymore - WHAT A DOOZY!)

We are creating a revolution where humans don’t have to choose between being authentic and being successful.

One where we co-create with AI, not get consumed by it.

One where our digital or physical monetary currency does not get “cut off” when we speak truth or get deemed “criminally sane™”

One where your subscription to this Substack isn’t just about me creating “content” : it's a seed you're helping to plant in fertile, revolutionary soil.

🌱 Become a Paid Subscriber for just a few dollars a month to support:

• Original videos, writings, and strange content like above

• The development of 1-800-EARTH projects (like EMF-protective products and non-toxic tech)

• A growing community of people committed to regenerating Earth + inner space

• My ability to stay alive, housed, and fueled while birthing this vision

We are in the soft-launch phase (CUE 90’S BOYOYOYOING ERECTION SOUND HERE FOR LITERALLY NO REASON), and every single subscriber makes a difference.

Seriously. You’re not just supporting content—you’re helping create a new paradigm of Humor & Healing.

🌀✨ Join the Bowel Movement. Answer the Call of Nature. Support the Organic Timeline.

[Become a Paid Subscriber HERE→]

PS below is a video of one of the daily facial (fascia’l) exercise I do in the morning along with a bunch of others; this has helped reconstruct my breathing and nose in addition to helping me think more clearly!

(I will share more exercises I do soon “to get this crazy” but you can click on the link below!)